Market Analyst template. Choose from below.
1) The Market is UP/DOWN because people are opting for Risk ON/OFF after the data.
2) If number is "good" and you are bearish: The data is WRONG/REVISED/CONTRIVED/SEASONALLY ADJUSTED
3) If the number is "bad" and you are constructive: The data is a CORRECTION/SOFT PATCH/ALREADY IN THE MARKET
5) If the market moves in a direction that is counter to your position: Disparage GEITHNER/BERNANKE/OBAMA/ALL OF THE ABOVE
6) If the market moves in the direction of your position: Choose D from #5, pat yourself on the back and place liquidating orders.
7) If you do not understand the question: Mention LTRO/QE/GOLD and refer back to #5 only louder.
8) If you appear near the end of the session: Quote the net change on the day.
Enjoy, can we get you anything else?